did you get engaged???
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
