It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
