what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
