You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
