i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
