I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
