i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
