I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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