i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
