So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
