You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
