Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
