What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
