So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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