i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
