my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
