Got a toothbrush?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
