my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think my fart just growled at me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
