Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
