you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
