I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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