i just had sex bonerless
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
