i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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