Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
