Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she pinky promised me she was 18
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
