I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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