Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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