i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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