Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He did a backflip because drugs
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