The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
