YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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