I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Couch. On fire.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
