My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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