my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
