worst night to have a conscience
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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