Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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