how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
