When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Pooping to opera.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
