Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
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