It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
