Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
