ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
