and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We are all done wearing pants today
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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