This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
