So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
