he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
