Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
