My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
