He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
