So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
