how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
